it is hard to be on top

So I am not sure I will keep this updated well but it is worth a shot. I am most likely just use this as an outlet to rant and feel free to tell me I am out of line but I think sometimes things are just to frustrating to keep inside and I feel bad always complaining to my friends. So in turn if you choose to read this you are forcing my whining upon yourself :)

I had drill this weekend and it was a four day drill so it pretty much was my whole week and I had to work at the hospital and go to class so I was a little drained. Unfortunately when I am tired or stressed I just don't become the nicest person. I get irritated easily and am more moody. I know this is a flaw but I find the guard to be an annoyance sometimes. There are so many double standards but when I weigh benefits over draw backs I just can't see quitting just yet.

Anyway, to get to the point. This weekend is just another week of being an trainer. I am suppose to be training two other guys on my crew because I am the highest ranking of the traditionals which means the people who work the one weekend a month two weeks a year. The problem with that is that I am the youngest person on our crew and of course the only female. While these two things shouldn't matter I feel like they do. I asked them to do stuff over and over again and they never seemed to get done. I would make a decision to get something done and they would question whether or not that was the correct choice. I really just got to the point where I was so mad that I told them what to do and left them to do my own thing. I just can't believe that when someone asks you to do something you question what they say and argue with them. These are learning experiences and isn't it just easier to do what you are asked. I just ended up doing it myself and am going to have to figure out another way to get my point across. I don't know how well it is going to go but we are going to have to sit down to talk and figure out something that will work for us because I can't go to work every month and just get pissed off and hate being there. I am not going to let them ruin my experience.